I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired
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jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him
So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:
John Mulaney - early 20th century
Eric Andre - Probably 17th century or so.
Taika Waititi - Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare
Keanu Reeves - We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.
Jeff Goldblum - 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.
Tommy Wiseau - Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.
I can’t believe there are people out there that haven’t seen this before
Throwback lol
I feel old lol
No really. How old is this. Rcause I have never seen this before today
early 2000s
Well this is just entirely in character for both of them.
This is why Tom Holland would fuck him.
When people underestimate how much you can shitpost
this is it
everyone else can go home now
one thing I find hilarious is when Shakespeare quotes are used out of context
like, people are always saying “some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” as if it’s all deep and meaningful when actually it comes from a prank letter in Twelfth Night
and “This above all: to thine own self be true” comes from Polonius in Hamlet wherein the joke is that he’s an old pompous dude giving a long and rambling speech full of contradictory pointless advice to his son
“Brevity is the soul of wit” is another joke, because again, it’s made by Polonius who will just not shut up
it’s “we are such stuff as dreams are made on” not “of “, as in, “such stuff as dreams are built on”
“wherefore art thou, Romeo” doesn’t mean “where are you, Romeo” it means “why the fuck are you called Romeo, shit, I wanted to bang you but I can’t because you’re a goddamn Montague”
all these lines have acquired a kind of dignity in text that they never had in performance or are constantly misinterpreted
It’s not necessarily bad but it is kind of funny, sometimes.
If you ever see a Shakespeare quote your initial instinct should be to take it as innuendo
“why does that character have to be queer?”
why not?
“why does that character have to be trans?”
why not?
“why does that character have to be a poc?”
why not?
this post is making straight cis white ppl angry keep reblogging it
Another good response along with “Why not?” - “As opposed to?”
Just watch them try not to say ‘normal’, JUST WATCH THEM.
What’s happening on Twitter?
What
Can someone please make a “Primadonna gorl, yeah, all I ever wanted was the world” meme?
Corgi on a Carousel
HIS NAME IS MEATBALL
This is the cutest thing omg
I love this.
Can’t not reblog Meatball the Corgi, plus the music!
How to interact with a service dog
Don’t.
That’s it.
This has been a PSA
i dont get what this post means
service dogs are doing a job and usually people want to pet them but then theyll interrupt the job the service dog is trained to do. so the rule of thumb is dont interact with a service dog unless the owner says you can
YEET idc I’m petting the dog anyways
Okay, well.
You shouldn’t pet strangers’ dogs without asking either.
In Boston while waiting for the T, there was a woman with her service dog in full gear also waiting. Two young women went right up to the dog and the moment one of the women reached out to pet the dog, the older woman slapped her hand away and said “My dog is working, do NOT pet.” And I smiled because those young women were in the wrong.
If you came up to my dogs and didn’t ask to pet them, I would slap your hand away, and they’re not even service dogs.
If you pet my service dog without permission, you are stopping him from doing his job.
One of my dog’s jobs is detecting seizures. He gives me a few minutes warning. If he can’t warn me because he’s distracted, I could fall and hit my head.
I could die of a head injury because I wouldn’t have time to find a place to sit and sit down.
But, hey, a stranger gets to pet my dog.
I guess that’s worth it. /sarcasm
Seriously, this is why you DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH A SERVICE DOG
Here’s an article on what happened when someone pet a service dog and it DID distract the dog resulting in the owner suffering a seizure and injuries.
For anyone who doesn’t feel like reading, here is the key points:
Hailey has multiple illnesses including Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and epilepsy. Her service pup in-training, Flynn, has the important task of alerting her roughly 10 minutes before she has a seizure. This gives her time to find a safe place so that she does not injure herself while seizing.
Although the other human meant no harm, her action nearly resulted in tragedy. Because Flynn was distracted, he failed to give Hailey proper notice of her seizure. By the time he was able to alert her, it was already too late.
“My service dog is my lifeline. I don’t say that to be cute. He helps keep me alive just like life support. If he gets distracted this happens. If he gets distracted I can die. Do not pet service dogs. Do not call to service dogs. Do not taunt service dogs. Do not talk to service dogs. Do not do anything to service dogs.”
1) Would you grab a person’s wheelchair and start rolling it forward and back for your own amusement? Would you randomly touch someone’s hearing aid while it’s in their ear? No? Then don’t pet someone’s service dog!
2) Don’t pet anyone’s dog unless you have the owner’s permission. If the dog gets nervous around strangers and you invade its personal space it might bite you out of fear, which could lead to the dog being put down. Not to mention it’s just disrespectful. Asking takes about five seconds. Just do it.
Signal boosting! A service dog is a working dog, and they need your respect more than your affection. If you want to deliver a compliment, let their human know what a great job they’re doing. It will be appreciated.
I thought for the LONGEST time that it was common knowledge that you’re not supposed to pet a service dog. When I found out that, apparently, that wasn’t the case, I was like ?????????
I know that this probably doesn’t relate but imma say it anyways.
Working dogs *should* have one person that they listen to or respond to. Petting a service dog is like giving someone’s life support cord a jiggle. It’s fucked.
AND this is going to sound weird but- don’t pet cattle dog either, they are most likely not good with people because of breed and exposure, petting one of these dogs while it is obeying a command from its owner is like giving candy to someone’s kid when it does something wrong instead of correcting them. As well as these dogs are not always the safest dogs, my moms dog is terrible with kids, she is afraid of them and will snap towards them (she has never bitten anyone) to scare them away from her. These dogs are taught to chase and bite animals 12x their size.
IF YOU WANT TO PET A FUCKING DOG. FUCKING. ASK. THE. PERSON. WITH. IT.
Fyi it’s felony to at all engage or interfere with a service dog for all the reasons above. Service dogs get access to all public places that their handlers do because they are considered MEDICAL EQUIPMENT. So just know any handler of a service dog could (and would totally be in the right to) press felony charges against you if you distracted or interfered with their service dog.
Also service dogs are not magic. Like all dogs they only retain their training (which is a long and insanely expensive process) through consistency. You distracting a service dog could be the start of undoing some of that. Even if a dog isn’t trained in seizure or allergy detection, it’s still important to ignore any service dog you see as constant distraction could lead to the dog not performing its tasks as consistently it should.
Also read the patches on the dog’s vest before saying anything to the handler. Sometimes you may see ones that say “ask to pet first” or “you can talk to my handler not me”. but there are also some patches that say “do not engage handler causes stress” or “ignore us give us space” and things like that. Service dogs are not allowed in public for the pleasure of others, they are there to make their handlers lives functional. Keep that in mind.
You can look at a service dog, but the rule of thumb is do not make eye contact with it. No touch, no talk, no eye contact.